How to foster Sisterhood at home and in the community

Sisterhood, a great blessing and mercy from Allah, is deeply affected when women disrespect each other.

Alhumdolillah, women are powerful beings. Allah has blessed women with an inherent power to persevere through life with resilience and courage.

If only more women would acknowledge this blessing and empower, not judge, other women in her family and community.

Through observations and understanding of case studies of my own clients, I see distinct patterns as to why women perpetuate disharmony in their relationships with each other in the home and within the community.

These patterns revolve around unhealed childhood pain and trauma which then manifest in their lives as deep insecurities (body shape, intellect, abilities etc.), self-loathing, and negative self-talk.

These patterns also result in the following negative ways women tend to display disrespect and disharmony with other women:

Passive-aggressive remarks
Sarcastic remarks
Aggressive outbursts
Cyber-bullying
Backbiting
Interrogation (trying to get personal information from someone)
Commenting on physical appearance (“you’ve gained weight”, “you’ve lost weight”).
Commenting on and judging another sister’s practice of her deen (“she took her hijab off”, “why does she wear the niqab?”)

I confess that I am guilty of at least one of the above. The state of the ummah can only improve if sisterhood among women improve.

Here are some strategies on how to respect our differences and attempt to understand one another.

10 strategies to foster Sisterhood

Listen without commenting.
If you feel the need to comment, think before speaking.
Send a kind text message to inquire how other sisters in your family/ community are doing.
Always ask for forgiveness if you cross the line.
Always forgive when another sister seeks forgiveness from you.
Refuse to part-take in backbiting. Walk away without commenting.
Give a genuine compliment about the sister’s wholistic wellbeing, not just about her weight.
If you are unable to help another sister, tell her you will find someone else to help her. Do not leave her hanging on false hopes.
Never compare her with anyone else. Never compare her circumstances with another person’s circumstances. We are all fighting our own unique battles daily.
Stop judging. Judging involves ego and ego is a sin. Be Allah-conscious and stop judging your fellow sisters.

The following poem is dedicated to my fellow sisters.

Sisterhood

She means well, just like you

She has been hurt before, just like you

She was once a little girl with dreams and demands, just like you

She has her daily battles, just like you

And sometimes loses her cool, just like you

She cries every so often, just like you

She loves wholeheartedly, just like you

She deserves respect, just like you

She is a unique creation of ALLAH, just like you

Together we share a blessed sisterhood