Recently, I came across a book titled “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t do” by Amy Morin, and I found its insights to be deeply resonant when viewed through the lens of Islamic teachings.
Morin’s book outlines behaviours that mentally strong individuals avoid in order to foster resilience, growth, and emotional well-being.
As I read her words, I was struck by how much they align with the timeless wisdom found in the Quran and Hadith, which emphasise mental strength, patience, gratitude and self-discipline.
Building Strength Through Adversity: A Shared Understanding
of Amy Morin’s personal journey, marked by profound loss and grief, leads her to develop a list of 13 things mentally strong people do not do, in order to overcome obstacles and thrive.
While Morin’s insights are practical and rooted in psychological wisdom, they closely mirror the core concepts in Islamic teachings, especially in regard to how we face life’s challenges.
The Quran reminds us that hardship is an inevitable part of life, but it also assures us that ease follows hardship. Allah says in Surah Ash-Sharh (Quran 94:5-6):
“For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.”
This verse underscores the belief that challenges are not just tests of endurance, but also opportunities for growth and relief.
Morin’s book, too, speaks to this, encouraging readers to avoid unhealthy mental patterns that might hinder growth in difficult times.
1. Avoiding self-pity: Embracing patience
One of the key points in Morin’s book is the detrimental impact of self-pity. She argues that mentally strong people refrain from wallowing in their struggles. Instead, they face difficulties with resilience and strength.
Islam teaches us a similar concept of patience and contentment in the face of adversity. In Surah Al-Baqarah (Quran 2:286), Allah assures us that:
“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.”
This verse teaches that challenges are always within our capacity to endure, and instead of succumbing to self-pity, we are encouraged to trust in Allah’s plan and remain patient.
Prophet Muhammad (s) also emphasised patience in his teachings, saying:
“How wonderful is the case of a believer! There is good for him in everything, and this is only the case with a believer. If something good happens to him, he is grateful, and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he is patient, and that is better for him.” (Hadith: Sahih Muslim)
In this Hadith, we learn that both good and bad times offer an opportunity for growth — either through gratitude or patience — both of which require mental strength.
2. Not giving away your power: Maintaining control over emotions
Morin also advises against allowing others to control our emotions, emphasising the importance of emotional autonomy.
Islam, similarly teaches the value of self-control, especially in difficult situations. Prophet Muhammad (s) said:
“The strong person is not the one who is able to wrestle, but the one who controls himself when he is angry.” (Hadith: Sahih Bukhari)
This Hadith highlights that true strength lies not in physical prowess, but in the ability to control one’s emotions.
When we control our responses, we maintain our mental resilience, avoiding the detrimental effects of anger, frustration, and anxiety.
3. Embracing change: Trusting Allah’s plan
Another piece of advice in Morin’s book is to avoid the fear of change. She stresses that mentally strong people embrace change rather than resist it, seeing it as an opportunity for growth.
Islam teaches us to view change and trials as part of Allah’s divine plan, and that we must submit to His will with trust and patience. Allah says in the Quran in Surah At-Tawbah (Quran 9:51):
“Say, ‘Never will we be struck except by what Allah has decreed for us; He is our protector.’ And upon Allah let the believers rely.”
This verse encourages believers to trust in Allah’s wisdom and accept changes and challenges as part of the divine decree.
Change, both good and bad, is inevitable, but our ability to embrace it with faith and patience is a hallmark of mental strength.
4. Letting go of things beyond our control
Morin argues that mentally strong individuals avoid obsessing over things they cannot control. She suggests focusing on what is within our power to change, and letting go of the rest.
Islam echoes this sentiment, teaching that we should focus on what we can control — our actions, intentions, and responses — while leaving the rest to Allah.
Prophet Muhammad (s) said:
“If something befalls you, don’t say, ‘If I had only done such and such,’ but say, ‘This is the decree of Allah, and what He wills, He does.'” (Hadith: Sahih Muslim)
This Hadith emphasises the importance of submitting to Allah’s will and avoiding regret over what we cannot change.
Instead of being consumed by worry, we are encouraged to place our trust in Allah and move forward with faith.
5. Not people-pleasing: Loyalty to Allah first
Morin also highlights the danger of people-pleasing and the need to prioritise one’s own values over external approval.
Islam teaches us that our primary loyalty should be to Allah, and pleasing Him is far more important than pleasing others. The Quran says in Surah At-Tawbah (Quran 9:24):
“Say, ‘If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, the wealth you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you delight are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger, then wait until Allah brings His command.'”
This verse serves as a powerful reminder that our actions should align with our commitment to Allah, rather than seeking the approval of others. It is through loyalty to Allah’s will that we find true peace and strength.
Conclusion: Strength in faith and resilience
In “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do), Amy Morin provides practical strategies for building mental resilience, many of which align closely with the principles of patience, self-control, trust in Allah, and gratitude emphasised in the Quran and Hadith.
Her focus on what to avoid in order to cultivate a strong mindset is similar to Islamic teachings on refraining from harmful behaviors such as self-pity, envy, and anger.
The Quran and Hadith guide us to cultivate patience, inner strength, and reliance on Allah, all of which are essential to navigating life’s challenges with grace and resilience.
By avoiding destructive thought patterns and focusing on the wisdom of our faith, we can build the mental fortitude necessary to thrive in both difficult and prosperous times.
Ultimately, the key to mental strength lies not only in what we do, but also in what we choose to avoid.
By embracing the wisdom of both Amy Morin’s book and the teachings of Islam, we can cultivate a life of resilience, peace, and unwavering trust in Allah’s plan.
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