A tribute to my dadi: Mrs Jamal Ara Ahmad

“Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un”, Indeed, we belong to Allah and to Him is our return.

Another day to remind us that death has been decreed by Allah, and we will all return to our Creator.

Who would have known within the past four months, we would be in the same situation- in the same cemetery loosing another dearest relative, the queen of our family, and the mother of all of us, Jamal Ara Ahmad (dadi, my paternal grandmother).

She passed away, almost 90, on Monday 13 June 2022 morning straight after the Fajr azaan at Liverpool Hospital and upon listening to the last word of Surah Yaseen, Allah took her soul, four months after her husband Dr Qazi Ashfaq Ahmad passed away and one and a half months after her daughter Fauzia passed away.

Yes it was the Queen’s Birthday holiday, but we lost our own dearest queen on that day. Even though we are all aware of the outstanding work my grandfather did for Islam and for the Muslim community, she was the queen supported him at all times.

From her fresh mango qulfis during summer to the pudding during winter, her large qeema (mince meat) samosas during Ramadan and our late night french toast supper during the winter nights while waiting for Isha after Maghreb.

She had herself a sweet tooth and thoroughly enjoyed feeding everyone, no matter if it was family, friends or members of the wider community. She made dishes which no one has been able to replicate, for example her sesame seed halva.

Her day would only start with her two weetbix with cold milk and a boiled egg every morning. Even during overseas holidays her weetbix would be travelling with her. Even though I have not adopted her breakfast menu, my two kids are following their great grandmother’s breakfast habits.

After breakfast she would engage herself with phone calls to the family and to the ladies in the community maintaining lines of verbal communication and providing advice for all.

It was because of her that we had to speak Urdu at home, she ensured we were aware of our South Asian roots, culture and family traditions in terms of language, dress, food habits and etiquettes.

Although she did not study for any leadership courses or attended any conferences, she showed great leadership for the family and community. She was known in the community as the ‘khala’,  universal aunty specially for young couples who migrated to Australia leaving behind they parents in their home countries.

New young migrants to Australia specially from South Asia, soon after arrival would be promptly invited to our family home for lavish dinners and at the same time advised and helped in their settlement in their new home country.

She was fair and never showed inequality amongst her children, sons, daughters, sons-in-laws, daughter-in-laws  and all her grandchildren. During my younger years while living in an extended family with 20 family members under one roof, she used to do the regular Saturday morning grocery shopping for the whole household.

She would ensure all 20 family members would get their individualised grocery items. Shopping at Aldi, Woolies and Franklins, she would fill up two full trolleys by the time someone would pick her up. By the time she was not able to go to the shops, she was always enthusiastic to find out who went to what shop and to show her the things we brought from the shops.

You’ll be dearly missed dadi, your comments, your smile, your laughter and just the women you always had concerns for others . You kept the family together and there isn’t anyone who would be able to replace you.

Dada/Dadi you both will always be remembered. As you both aged, I was part of your journey, seeing a life cycle on how an individual can decline over age has been very heartbreaking. How you moved from a walking stick, to a walker and then to a wheelchair.

During those years we created a very close bond with each other and had a parent-child relationship where I learnt a lot from both of you and you guys have been very dear and close to me. It doesn’t feel as though I’ve lost my grandparents but have lost another parents of mine.

Your voices still echos through, calling us for something or telling us off for our own betterment. You both only did and sacrificed your lives for others and were never selfish for your ownself.

We travelled and our last flight together was when we travelled to Saudi to perform umrah almost 10 years ago, a memorable journey on a 13 hour flight, just the three of us. You both had spent over 70 years with each other and it was only last year we actually did something for you, celebrated your 70th wedding anniversary).

O Allah, forgive them and have mercy on them and give them strength and pardon them. Be generous to them, protect them from the punishment of the grave and grant them the highest ranks of Jannah while give us sad, patience to bear this loss.

An era, a chapter has been closed, our routine of taking care of them or looking over their medical needs or ensuring they are comfortable has come to an end.

It shall be very empty not able to see both of you sitting on your allocated chairs, sitting on the dinner table and your voices will be dearly missed.

Inshallah we shall meet in Jannah with your daughters and the rest of the extended family that have passed away.