‘Is mum ageing, or is it dementia?’: Webinars on how to care for seniors’ brain health

Many adult children notice declines in their parents’ thinking or routines but are unsure if those changes are considered ‘normal ageing’, or if there is anything that can be done.

Those who are concerned, are not sure whether a visit to the GP is worthwhile, and worry about how to have this conversation, because they don’t want to their parent or grandparent to feel disrespected.

The Facing Dementia Together multicultural team lead by Professor of Ageing and Health, Lee-Fay Low have been giving webinars on the signs of dementia and how to express concerns to a parent in a culturally acceptable way.

When to encourage your parent/elder to visit the GP?

As a rule of thumb, it is normal for our elders to experience small changes in memory and thinking. However, if you have concerns, use this checklist of dementia symptoms and ask yourself:

a. Is this a change?

If Dad has always been forgetful and has a habit of leaving the house door unlocked, then maybe it’s not really a change.

b. Has this change happened in the last 2 years?

Changes that have happened very gradually over the last 10 years are more likely to be normal ageing. If the changes have been getting progressively worse or more common in the past 2 years, then this is more concerning.

c. Does this change affect daily life?

Has his forgetfulness caused him to constantly burn food, miss important appointments, or ask the same thing over and over?

How to start the conversation

An older person may feel offended and angry if you raise the issue of dementia, as it is a sensitive and stigmatised topic. So, you’re going to have to raise your concerns carefully and over multiple conversations. Some people, especially if they have not noticed the signs in themselves or are used to being the caretaker of the family, will need some convincing to visit their GP. Some may be firm in their belief that the changes are just ‘normal ageing’.

Normalise going for annual GP checkups. If visiting the GP is already a routine habit, they may be more open to going or at least bringing it up at their next appointment.
Get your family on the same page. Contradictory views amongst family members will make it harder to convince the person to see a GP. Use our checklist for dementia symptoms to discuss your beliefs with the family so that, you can all agree that the person should ask their GP to do a cognitive check.
Identify the right person to have the conversation. You may notice signs in a loved one who you are not necessarily close with. Identify a person who is trusted by the older person to raise concerns (e.g. a favourite son/daughter).
Find the right time to have the conversation. Regardless of if you are speaking to family about the changes or to the person themselves, it is important to choose a quiet, calm time to start the conversation.
Be patient and keep trying. Many people report getting downplayed or angry reactions from family. Much of this is based in misinformation around dementia and brain health. Equip yourself with the facts by reading our Myths Vs Facts sheet.