Are you in a toxic relationship?

Being in a toxic relationship brings about death. Death to peace, love, light, joy and abundance. It slowly sucks life out of you until you start mirroring toxicity in your thoughts, words and deeds.

Not all toxic relationships are physically violent. Emotional torture, insults,  money-control, spying (hacking into social media accounts, or checking phone messages), and constant accusations are some of many signs of a toxic relationship.

In my personal experience of a toxic marriage I ignored all these toxic behaviours because a part of me convinced me of two things; one, that I deserved them – taking blame, making excuses for his violence. And two, that I could change him if I tried harder.

These two reasons were a clear indication that I lacked self-worth, self-respect, self-love, self-compassion and gratitude to Allah for the beautiful life that He had blessed me with where instead of choosing love, light, peace and joy, I was choosing toxicity and perpetuating it further.

When parenthood happens, the excuse to stay becomes even more ridiculous: convincing yourself to stay because your child needs a complete family, both parents.

It’s not fun sharing this truth with my readers. However, self-transformation is only possible when there is self-reflection and awareness of patterns of thinking. Self-sabotaging thought patterns that trap you into staying on in toxic relationships (marriages, friendships and business partnerships) only bring about darkness, ill health, resentment and fear.

Before you know it, you become addicted to this toxicity and fear propels you to find excuses to remain stuck in this stagnant existence.

Allah created you to live your life to your full potential and worship Him. Know the difference between merely existing and actually living. ​

So, ask yourself…Where are you in your life right now? How do you feel about your growth? How is your relationship helping you grow? Is it helping you grow? If not, why not?

No one can make you leave. You need to decide that for yourself. People sometimes say things like, “If it’s that bad, just leave.” But, it’s not that simple…because you need to understand that in order to leave a toxic relationship, you need to first and foremost become aware that you are in fact living in one.

Choice is the most fundamental and crucial part of decision-making.

Identify which side of this box your life resembles most and then make the right choice.