Ramadan is a beautiful, blessed month of worship, charity, compassion, and daily reflections to be better in our thoughts, words, and deeds.
For a lot of us who struggle with being too hard on ourselves, Ramadan is also a time that triggers these feelings of self-judgment and guilt.
This Ramadan, let us be a little less self-harsh and more self-forgiving by practicing self-kindness – deliberately and consciously.
Kindness is beautiful and spiritually uplifting. Having an attitude of kindness is different from having a practice of kindness.
The deliberate and conscious daily practice of kindness acknowledges that you are Allah’s creation, and you deserve to be treated with love, compassion and respect. It requires awareness and a deep, soulful connection to self.
No better time than Ramadan to try and transform our self-deprecating thoughts into thoughts of mercy, acceptance, and surrender – completely acknowledging any flaws within us, no matter how small, and surrendering them to Allah with honesty and a promise to be better.
We all feel disappointment within ourselves at some point in our lives and compare ourselves with others – in terms of quality of worship, modesty in behaviour, quality of our relationships, and our personal knowledge of the Holy Quran.
These comparisons can adversely affect our overall health, wellbeing, and our connection with Allah.
The first step is to take a few moments to reflect on your current habits and thought patterns that may not be serving you. Some common ones we all experience are:
- sleeping late, therefore sometimes missing out on Fajr salah
- sitting or lying down too much
- eating too much or not enough or eating excessive amounts of sugar and processed foods
- spending too much time on devices, gaming or other electronic gadgets
- shallow breathing due to poor posture, slouched shoulders and forward-drooping neck
Grief and hurt can affect one’s ability to be kind to oneself. When we have a wounded heart, we resort to blame, shame, guilt, and regret.
Harshly judging ourselves and each other can impact on our emaan. It can impact on how we perceive Allah’s beautiful mercy. The glass of iman can sometimes overfill itself with arrogance.
Be mindful of arrogantly judging others during this Ramadan. Be mindful of whether the glass of emaan within you is constantly functioning on fear and doubts.
In these challenging and testing times, there are some of us who struggle with this glass of iman.
A recent comment I was given was that this person was experiencing “half and half iman, sometimes my glass is full, sometimes half-empty,” he told me.
Remember: The glass is refillable.
It is not about whether the glass is half full or half empty…it is about acknowledging that everything comes from Allah alone.
If you are breathing, you are alive…that is a start…the idea is to keep breathing and keep surrendering to Allah.
You are never alone. Allah is with you. always.
May this Ramadan bring us greater awareness of self-kindness in how we connect with Allah and His creation.
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