As Muslims, we have a wonderful advantage in that we have been reminded countless times that a harmonious family unit is a compulsory prerequisite to having a harmonious Ummah.
Harmony in your home firstly starts with respecting your own personal space and acknowledging that your family members, those who dwell with you in your home, have the same right to a peaceful personal space.
The question is, are we actually practising this? Look at the state of our Ummah and understand that it is a direct reflection of the state of our own family units, our dealings with extended family members, and the rest of the community.
An ideal personal space within the home exists in two forms – physically and psychologically – when a person feels safe to express themselves and feel loved, understood, and guided with care, respect, kindness, and compassion, even when they have displayed behaviours that may not be ideal.
It’s not just about having a pretty bedroom or a man-cave, which are fine to have, but it’s also vital that each member of the family is given space to speak without judgment, interruption, gaslighting, and emotional or physical violence.
One’s personal space is built upon wellness of one’s physical space and one’s well mind (mental health). When this personal space is encroached upon, the person feels anger, frustration, discomfort and/ or anxiety.
Respecting one’s own personal space and that of others is vital if one wishes to live a joyful, peaceful and harmonious life.
Alhumdolillah, our Deen reminds us of the importance of a healthy personal space, giving us examples of our Prophet’s (s) retreats to the mountain caves and his regular practice of I’tikaf.
A huge part of bringing about harmony to one’s personal space is through the daily practice of self-reflection.
Below are ways to be mindful and respectful of your own personal space and that of others.
- Dedicate time daily to be in your personal space. This is aside from Salah times.
- Let people around you know that you are retreating for some quiet time and you wish not to be disturbed.
- Whilst in quiet time, leave gadgets in a different room so that you are not disturbed by notification tones, texts or phone calls. Disconnect from the outside and connect within so that you may connect better with Allah.
- Discuss the benefits of personal space as a family,
- If a family member practises being in their personal space whilst in a room full of other family members, Do not ask them why they are quiet. Let them be.
- Minimise loud noises and distractions in the home so that people who are in the practice of this time can feel more at peace.
- Go into the practice with an intention to know Allah better and find answers to questions that are on your mind.
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