We called it them and us.

We went around as entrepreneurs.

We went we found we plundered.

We were better resourced than them.

We were advance in culture than them.

We felt much smarter than them.

We showed them our ways.

We trained them in our ways.

We found them bow to us.

Did we make them bow to us?

 

WE are the colonials.

We did improve their lot.

From savages to cultured

From indigenous to global

We taught them English like us.

We gave them garments like ours

We educated their lot.

Even made them believe in our God.

Didn’t they choose to come to us?

 

We shared our illnesses too.

Although it was unintended

We gave them medicines too.

Just to help them get better.

Our ways are tested and used.

Across the world it shows

Leave your herbs and stuff!

They are outdated and primitive.

We didn’t say it, it was implied.

Cause our ways are the very best!

Hasn’t the world put them to the test?

 

We are enterprising and endeavouring.

So we deserve the very best

We dress so smart and are cultured.

The world bows to our behest

We deserve what we plunder.

Cause why not, finders are keepers.

So we got the Kohinoor diamond

We got the Egyptian treasures.

Even the Greek and Roman relics

We placed them in our museums.

For the world to see our finds

Don’t you respect our minds?

 

They had it, we deserved it.

We found it; we kept it.

 

See, it always comes down to

The world being about them and us.

We believed the best way to rule.

Was all about them and us.

So they quickly learnt our rule

Which is all about them and us.

 

Old fashioned words like community

Got extracted from their ways

We taught them individualism

We taught them capitalism

We gave them education

We taught them our ways

Very superior ways

Compared to their primitive ways

Crude and barbaric ways

Don’t you think so too?

 

So now the world is cultured.

From Africa across to Asia

And even down to Australia

They send their kids to British schools

They speak in English always.

Cause what will their languages do for them

They left their backward ways

Now what do you think that says

We are glorious in our ways

We the Western world

We invented democracy.

You may call it hypocrisy

But who cares,

Didn’t we get our way?

 

Our architecture is rich.

Yet our homes are old and cold.

How could we do everything?

We have been busy fixing the ways.

Of other peoples and other nations

Dividing all up into them and us

But you’ve got to give us credit.

For the care we showed the world

We gave them everything.

Now EVEN THEY, watch BBC.

They speak in English mostly.

So be our Judge and see.

We did well, didn’t we?