Accept the fact that you probably don’t like everybody in your family and that not everybody in your family has to like you. It’s better to respect someone and celebrate your differences than to engage in conflict.

Examine the boundaries you have set in your life with people. What do these boundaries look like? How much do they get away with? If you haven’t set boundaries yet, now is a great time to do so.

Now more than ever before, we must cherish our families and overcome petty grudges through forgiveness.

Seeking forgiveness:

  1. Before approaching the person, pray your salah and ask Allah to give you clarity of speech and help you express a sincere apology. Ask Allah to help the other person with the act of forgiving you.
  2. Express genuine remorse when you are talking to the person. A good way to start would be to say something along the lines of : I am genuinely sorry for causing you hurt. I feel terrible about it. I seek your forgiveness. I promise to be mindful to never repeat this behaviour again, In Shaa Allah. Please forgive me.
  3. Wait for the person to process your words. Even if there is silence, remain calm. The person may need time to think about your apology. He/she has a right to take this time. Do not pressure him/her to respond immediately. Respect their silence.
  4. Tell the person that you respect the time needed to think about this. Leave the room to show that you genuinely respect the person’s space during this time.
  5. Sit somewhere in silence and make duaa and dhikr, express gratitude to Allah for giving you this opportunity to express your remorse. Ask Allah to forgive you for causing hurt to another.

 Keep yourself safe:

Below are ways to be mindful and respectful of your own psychological personal space and that of others.

  • Dedicate time daily to be in your personal space. This is aside from Salah times.
  • Let people around you know that you are retreating for some quiet time, and you wish not to be disturbed.
  • Whilst in quiet time, leave gadgets in a different room so that you are not disturbed by notification tones, texts or phone calls.
  • Discuss the benefits of personal space as a family.
  • If a family member practises being in their personal space whilst in a room full of other family members, DO NOT ask them why they are quiet. Let them be.
  • During this practice, acknowledge and become aware of every part of your being and give thanks to Allah for this precious time of reflection.
  • Minimise loud noises and distractions in the home so that people who are in the practice of this time can feel more at peace.
  • Go into the practice with an intention to know Allah better and find answers to questions that are on your mind.
  • Encourage and support your family members to experience Psychological Personal Space daily.