Grief is a very powerful emotion. We can’t see it, but we can feel it strongly. Unlike physical injury, it attacks us from within, and if we can’t deal with it properly, then it crumbles our inner foundation. As a result, the whole of us collapses and our mental, emotional, physical plane fails to hold on. Therefore, to maintain our well-being, to be strong in our worship and ability to carry out our life duties, we need a grief management plan.
Grief touches everyone
No one is bullet proof from grief. It is a part of our lives. It is only a matter of time, when it will come to us. Allah, the creator, has created us with many emotional traits, and one of them is grief. It is to test us, and Allah will test everyone. Allah confirms this in ‘His’ divine message in the Holy Quran:
“And be sure WE shall test you with some fear and hunger, some loss in goods, or lives, or the fruits (of your hard work), but give glad news to those who patiently persevere.” [Quran 2:155]
Can we deal with grief?
The good news is that Allah gives tests for us together with guidance about how to pass them. Allah wants us to believe in two main points regarding grief, as following:
Allah never overburdens us with the test. Whatever we can bear, or whatever ability we have, the test is within that limit. So, we must not underestimate ourselves saying, “I can’t face it.” The Holy Quran confirms,“On no souls does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear.” [Quran 2:286]
Allah supports us in passing tests if we put our trust in HIM. The Holy Quran confirms, “So, surely with every difficulty there is relief: Surely, with every difficulty there is relief.” [Quran 94:5-6]
Some tips for dealing with grief
Salah & Sobor: “Seek (Allah’s) help with patience and prayer.” [Quran 2:45]
Engage your mind in positive thinking: For example, think about how much reward Allah will grant you for your patience during the grief. The Holy Quran reminds: “And give good news to those who are patient (In their grief).” [Quran 2:155]
Ask Allah to give you better: Strive to bring out better things from the state of grief. The Holy prophet (peace be upon him) said: “When calamity strikes a Muslim, he/she should say what Allah has commanded to say, “Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raajeoon (To Allah we belong and to Him is our return)” then say: “O Allah! Reward me in my calamity and give me reward better than this.” [Hadith: Muslim]
Share with good people: Cry, if necessary, with modesty, talk to trustworthy persons, write to express your emotions to avoid bottling up, keep yourself busy with good tasks, don’t target to be alone. Allow good people to be a part of your grieving journey. It will help your healing, and it will give them a chance to earn lots of rewards from Allah.
Prophet Mohammad (s) said: “And take care of those who are unwell.” [Hadith: Bukhari]