There has been a lot of problems with marriages in Australia lately, especially with the COVID-19 lockdowns we have been experiencing. These problems have affected the harmony within our houses even the ones with healthy relationships.
Before the pandemic we had many distractions which helped take our minds off the problems within our household. However with so many lockdowns especially in Victoria, it became nearly impossible to not have marital issues.
We realised that communication between spouses became very minimal as it caused many arguments and misunderstandings. Each spouse realised that there was a lot they disliked about the other, and some realised that they knew nothing about their partners. Some realised they grew apart due to kids and work. COVID-19 opened our eyes to where our marriage was on our priority list.
If you ask some women they will say it’s the men’s fault, and if you ask the men they will say it’s the women’s fault. But the question is not just who’s fault is it? It is also how do we bring harmony back to our homes? How do we become friends again? How do we instill Muwadda and Rahmah back into our relationship?
Research shows that most marital fights are due to miscommunication. Men and women tend to speak different languages and processing the information differently, which results in misunderstanding and conflicts. Men tend to offer women with solutions when all women want is to vent.
Women tend to offer men unsolicited advice when men have not asked for advice. They are both bickering at each other until they both admit defeat and stop talking.
We, as a group of counsellors and psychotherapists in Melbourne, are preparing a psychoeducation program where couples come to learn in a group, how to communicate with their spouses. In this group we use experiential work and practical strategies, which they use in the class on each other.
These strategies are proven to work in bringing harmony to the home. The methodology is used in a combination of Islamic concepts and Emotion Focused Therapy. We learn about Muwadda and Rahmah, and how to ward off Shaitan from destroying a peaceful married life. We practice positive ways of settling arguments, and we learn something about controlling our own Nafs.
This program is held by Comxtra.com and it includes a sheikh/counsellor including a lady counsellor.