Lockdown due to COVID-19 is not pleasant. It disrupts the normal activities including the marriage ceremonies. As an independent marriage celebrant, I can see the struggles in many families, but I can also see how many families are opting for easier options.
I can see Allah’s words in the Holy Quran are always true, in terms of hardship, “So, surely with every difficulty there is relief; surely, with every difficulty there is relief.” [94:5-6]
Cultural expectations in marriage
In many marriages cultural expectation is too high that can overwhelm the groom’s or bride’s families. In some cases, the intended marriages are either postponed or even cancelled as the expectations are too hard to meet.
Expectations may make the marriages very expensive, and to meet the expenses some may borrow the money, or others may sell something, or some may spend all the savings without investing for a secured future.
Unfortunately, the expenses could be for glamour, competitions, or for showing off etc. Due to COVID-19 lockdown, I find some people are trying to exclude the cultural expectation as much as possible. That is very positive indeed.
True spirit in Islamic marriage
Glamour, extravagance, showing off or expenses beyond affordability has nothing to do with religious teachings. If cultural expectation is not within the religious teachings, many are not, then again, Islam teaches to avoid them.
The true spirit in Islamic marriage is joining two parties together in a righteous team in the name of Almighty Allah to do everything that pleases Allah to receive Paradise as reward from Allah.
The focus must be how to arrive in the everlasting happiness as a couple with families in Paradise for which Allah has described in the Holy Quran:
“For them there is the final reach of the eternal Home, Paradise that hold unending joy: They will enter there, like the righteous ones from their fathers, their spouses, and their children.” [13:22-23]
Easier options in lock down for the greater blessings
COVID-19 lockdown has brought many restrictions. It is making many families to reflect, to reason about things in their lives including marriages. I thought lockdown period would have zero interest in marrying, but I was wrong.
Wise people want to take the easiest and cheapest marriage option in their marriages because they are choosing their priorities. For example, they say, “Is my marriage more important or is the wedding party more important?” Or they say, “Does the simplest marriage have most blessings from Allah or the expensive one?”
Some want to practice the teachings in the Hadith, that is narrated by Ayesha (r), as Prophet Mohammad (s) said:
“The most blessed marriage is the marriage that is performed with the least difficulties.” [Bayhaqi fee Shu’abul Imaan]