The sexual revolution promised more freedom and sexual fulfilment and because of this made casual sex acceptable. However, the benefit of this should be reconsidered. Sexuality is not devoid of values.

My wife and I have four sons, this is the advice we gave to them about sex.

We suggested that having sex should be done at the right time, with the right person, when the right conditions are fulfilled and with the right motive/values.

We encouraged them to not have sex before marriage. We wanted them to learn self-discipline in order to create the right conditions and at the right time in their development.

We suggested that a premature relationship may cause them to be stuck in a relationship that may be wrong for them. We told them that sex and love is not necessarily the same thing. You can have sex with someone, but does mean you love them.

Research suggests that those who abstain from sexual intimacy during the early part of their relationships allow communication and other social processes to become the foundation of their attraction to each other; not just sex.

Research shows that two-thirds of all sexually experienced teenagers (12-19) in the United States say they wish they had waited longer to have sexual intercourse for the first time.

Did our sons turn out weird or frustrated because they followed our advice and their values? But we could also ask: Are you frustrated to be in a monogamous, committed relationship? Most would say, “no, it’s wonderful”.

We are happy to say that they are married and appear to have good relationships. However, my wife and I feel that we did the right thing because they were spared the regrets and the pressures put on young people to be sexually active at an early age.

Please visit Dr John Bellavance’s YouTube channel.